


Shortly Before the End

by Ultra



Category: Firefly
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Episode: s01e08 Out of Gas, F/M, Fear of Death, First Kiss, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-15
Updated: 2009-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: A 'missing scene' from Out of Gas. River has a final request before she potentially dies... and Jayne somewhat reluctantly obliges.





	1. Shortly Before The End

“Whatcha doin’, Crazy?” he asked her, clearly annoyed by her presence in the shuttle when he was trying to prep it, but not really having the time or inclination to fight with her right now.

“Saying goodbye,” she explained, hovering at the door, eyes flitting around the metal of the corridor beyond. “Last day for her as she is now, last but not final.”

Jayne winced at her words, glad his back was too her so she would not see. He acted uncaring, detached, removed, but Jayne Cobb was a man, a human being, and he did have feelings. He loved Serenity and the crew she carried, it was his world, his life, his family, all. Now it was slipping away, and that thought terrified him, though he said not a word.

“You go find your brother, we all leavin’ soon,” he muttered, knowing he had to take his mind off these thoughts afore the moonbrained girl got inside his head and accused him of being a coward.

“The symbol talks of this,” she said, running her hands over the metal of the ship. “A time to live, a time to die,” she quoted.

“Didn’t figure on my time bein’ yet,” replied Jayne without thinking about what she was saying or to whom. “Didn’t figure on it bein’ this way neither.” He shook his head.

“Too soon, too young, too much she doesn’t know.”

The emotion that cracked the girl's voice caught Jayne’s attention enough that he turned to look at her, just as one lone tear streaked down her face.

“C’mon, girly,” he said, feeling awkward, just as he always did when girlfolk got teary and such. “Ain’t all done and settled,” he said, trying to sound upbeat. “Could be we all come through this yet.”

“You don’t believe,” she challenged him. “In heart of hearts, there is a wish but no truth.” She shook her head, rubbing the back of her hand roughly across her cheek. “No promises, no future,” she said sadly. “Thought this was home.”

“Yeah, well.” Jayne shrugged his shoulders. “Ain’t no matter where ya are, home or not, end comes it comes. You gonna be out here in the black with the likes o’ us, you best get used to the notion,” he told her seriously. “We come through this, we gonna get in another sticky situation afore long. ‘S why you gotta live fast, just in case you die young,” he told her, moving to go past her to exit the shuttle.

River stared at him a moment, then chose her next move, hitting the button to shut the door and standing in his way of getting to it.

“You tryin’ to get on my last nerve, little woman?” he asked her, “’cause you’re gorram doin’ it anyhow,” he told her with a glare.

“Life and death,” she said as she stared him down. “Every turn, every day, could be the last. She has seen, but hasn’t done. Knows but will never understand.”

Jayne frowned at her words, wanting to dismiss it as the same gibberish she always spouted, and yet a little of what she was saying made some sense. He went out of his way to live life to his fullest, just like he said. He’d done a lot of things in his life, some he was proud of, some he wasn’t. Fact of it was, there was little left to get around to. If he died today, and the threat was hanging over them, he’d go out with few regrets. River was just a young ‘un, though she looked and acted womanly enough at times. At eighteen, there was a whole heap of things in the ’verse she’d never experienced and never would if this night was to be her last.

“You don’t wonder too much on what you missed, dong ma?” he told her firmly, though the look in his eyes and tone of his voice was far from the harshness she was used to from him. “Think o’ what you got, and what you had,” he reminded her. “Whole heap o’ people worse off than us.”

“True.” She nodded once in agreement. “But condemned should get a last request. One wish before the lights are blown out,” she said seriously, eyes locked on his still as an odd smile came over her face. “Yours is pretty.”

“Stay outta my head, ya little witch,” he snapped, only angry because he knew she’d seen something that’d make him look less menacing in her eyes.

Not that it was anything to be ashamed of, to want to see his mother one last time before he died. If it happened tonight, then that dream was lost, but he faced the risk every single day. The thought occurred to him then, that things were very different for River. She had no parents to run to, no family to love her ‘cept her pansy ass brother, no home but the ship. One so young should have the whole ‘verse laid out in front of her, a hundred thousand possibilities, and yet it could all slip away tonight, without her hardly seeing anything at all.

“How about you?” he asked curiously. “You had one last wish, what’d it be?”

Jayne wasn’t sure why he was asking, but then there was nothing left to lose right now.

“One wish,” she echoed softly. “One simple moment, to feel as they feel.” She smiled sadly, arms dropping loosely to her sides as she lost herself into a little daydream. “To be woman, to be wanted, to feel contact of lips, and know she can fly, just for a moment,” she explained as best she could, her eyes falling shut of their own accord.

Perhaps it was because she already saw what came next, maybe just because she was lost in the imagery her mind conjured up for itself. Either way, Jayne threw caution to the wind, deciding that if they was all gonna die tonight, hell, the girl may as well get her one wish. She might be a little whimsical in the brain pan as Mal put it, but she wasn’t all bad. She’d lost a whole lot; real stuff, time, part of her mind even, and that weren’t fair as far as Jayne could tell. Now she was scared of losing her life too, and if’n he could help her out, he decided he may as well do it.

This would be his explanation, should he need one, for wrapping his arms around her slight form, pulling her close, and putting his lips to hers. It was a brief moment, wouldn’t mean much to anybody that saw it, and yet when they parted a second later, the smile on River’s face proved it meant everything.

It was a miracle to her that someone, least of all Jayne, had understood her rambling that often confused everyone onboard. In a state of mild panic over what was to come, she knew she was probably making less sense than ever to those that surrounded her, and yet something she had said must have been clear. The one piece that she knew was missing from her life that she thought she would never get a chance to find, it had happened.

What Jayne didn’t realise as he stepped back from the girl and took in just exactly what he’d done, was that this whole thing was never really about being kissed before she died. No, River wanted the kiss, the one that every woman should get at some time in her life, the one that made the world go away and everything feel okay, the one dreamt of for years until it finally happens. Somehow she’d known from the very beginning this was the only man that could give her that moment. She would have waited a lifetime for it to come if she had to, but given that could be just a few hours more, she dare not wait any longer.

“Thank you, Man Called Jayne.” She smiled up at him then. “Now, if she must die, she can do so contented.”

He didn’t answer that, honest to goodness he didn’t know how, just hit the button to the door now she would let him, and headed out of the shuttle to go find the Captain and the others.

Lives hung in the balance, nine to be precise, and Jayne didn’t have time to waste on wondering about the crazy little woman or what they’d just done. Most like they’d die and it’d never matter anyhow, but if they did come through this, hell, he was gonna have a hard time looking at the girl in the same way again. One kiss and she’d bewitched him. Hell, he was most like better off dead.


	2. Better Off Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne regrets his kiss with River when everyone survives in 'Out of Gas.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally written for sunshineali.

River was hovering outside of the infirmary long after the others had gone. She was waiting; waiting and wondering and wanting to know.

“Was he afraid?” she asked, just as soon as Jayne exited the medical room and had no option but to face her.

He looked sideways at her then back towards the Captain and the Doc, making an easy decision to close the door before he answered the girl.

“Not afraid o’ nothin’,” he told her. “Oughta know that,” he added as he turned to leave, though she knew he wouldn’t.

“He can blame incense smells and lack of loyalty, but she knows his fear,” said River from behind him, her voice too light and airy and clever - made Jayne’s blood boil up.

“Now you listen here, girly,” he told her, turning and advancing like a wild cat threatening to pounce on her, his voice low and quiet so only she would hear the threats he planned on making. “I gotta let you be on this ship, Cap’n’s orders and all, ‘cause he done gone and got it in his head you’re crew now, but I don’t have to like ya nor nothin’ and if I had a choice, you’d be offa this boat just as fast as-”

“Hiding fear with threats does not work.” She shook her head, sighing as if she were almost disappointed in him somehow. “He can try but she remains unmoved.” She shrugged, sitting herself down on the seat that was now directly behind her without ever breaking eye contact.

The trouble Jayne was having was knowing she was right. The look in her eyes weren’t so very clear, never gorram was, but even an ape like him had an idea what she was getting at.

Afore they left this boat and flew away in them shuttles, she had him kiss her, her last request before she died. Now she was here, all alive and such, and she knew, somehow she ruttin’ well knew that things had changed, that he saw her different, that the real reason they’d been late getting back here for the Captain was ‘cause his mind was all distracted remembering kissing her and wondering on what else he could get.

Muttering curses and obscenities that even River couldn’t hear as he turned and stormed away, Jayne almost wished he had seen the end of his days tonight, because living with the little witch after this might just be the death of him anyhow.


End file.
